Monday, April 19, 2010

4/19 LIVE RAW Blog

OK, 100% live let's do this...

- Does it piss anyone else off that some of the clips in the opening are out of order? The Warrior one is off by like 10 years.

- The new Triple H hat is kind of badass.

- Do you think Vince fired the guy that told him about the volcano?

- Why wouldn't Gallows just unplug the clippers from outside the ring?

- Pretty cool they are so upfront with the fans I have to say. I think its funny during my last Smackdown post I mentioned what would happen if Smackdown and RAW just switched guys. Looks like we'll find out from the ratings this week.

- Randomly switched over to TNA and heard Jarrett yell out "shit."

- Two things strike me about the Kozlov/MacGreuber bit. One - there was a time when Kozlov was a legit contender to the title; what the hell happened? Two - that whole skit is almost unpar with the Robocop/Sting gimmick from the early 90's. Just awful, and a real reason we all still get made fun of as wrestling fans.

- Swagger and Taker was pretty good. There seems to be a weird trend where they give a young guy a world title and have him lose all the time. It doesn't make sense. Doesn't Swagger look weak going into the PPV losing to a guy that had nothing to do with the feud?

- OK, a few things on the MacGreuber/Kozlov/Khlai thing. One - If he was really the GM of RAW, couldn't he just change the match to not include him anyway? Two - I suppose Santino is in Europe and they were just going to do the same thing with him. Three -If it is a handicap match, how could MacGreuber's team win if Khali was the legal man and he got counted out? The whole thing was just too long and terrible.

- Pretty standard main event. Obviously the whole volcano thing ruined the show. I'm sure they will do their best to make it up with tons of promos on all of the shows that are left before the PPV.

Ordering Extreme Rules so make sure to check back for more live posts...

Friday, April 9, 2010

4/9 Smackdown! Blog - Live

Just to prove I am not half-assing this blog, here is a live Smackdown! report for the last 3/4 as I missed the first quarter :(

- Personally, I think Drew McIntrye has "IT." He reminds me a ton of 1997 Triple H and I dig the non-promo saying the people aren't worth his time.

- Has anyone suffered more from Marty Jannetyism than Matt Hardy. There is no way he EVER gets over like his brother, right?

- That Edge Slim Jim commercial sucks balls. There has never been a good WWE/wrestling commericial, and I am including the new Hogan/Troy Aikman spot in that too.

- Sorry Rey, but you are really one move away from any move.

- That Hart DVD does look badass. I think I might buy it this weekend.

- Regarding those Hart Foundation clips and an earlier post; how can WWE ignore the tag teams so much? Even the talentless New Age Outlaws were making a rack of money 12 years ago. Take a break from the Diva Dress to Impress "match" and write some decent tag team stuff.

- Gotta stop making fun of Swagger's lisp. Did they make fun of how bald Hogan was? Well, not till way later.

- Honest question, if they swapped RAW and Smackdown's timeslots, do you think the ratings would change that much? I am wondering if you put everyone from Smackdown on during the traditional wrestling night of Monday if it wouldn't do just as well.

- When will they shake the Money in the Bank winner taking the cheap way to the championship? It only lasted for like 2 weeks, but I loved when Kennedy won and he said he would cash it in the following Wrestlemania.

- Over/under Edge remaining a face: 3 months. I'll take the under.

- The Jericho/Edge feud should be doing more for me. Take a look at the front row after the spear: nothing. It's a classic kind of feel, just not sure what it is missing. And no, it isn't missing the mention of the word spear.

- OK, triple threat at the PPV? Should be decent way to get Swagger over.

That's all for now. Decent episode but lacked something. Until next time...

Monday, March 29, 2010

Sort of Live 3/29 RAW Review

OK. I just posted the massive Wrestlemania review, so I am going to try and keep going with a semi-live RAW review (starting an hour late on DVR):

- I don't know who does these montages, but I hope they are paid well because they are awesome.

- New drinking game: take a shot everytime you hear WWE Universe. Wasted before the end of the first hour.

- Why did Swagger leave the ring for a mic when there already 2 in there?

- Between Jon Heder and these two assholes, I am always surprised at which "celebrities" actually have good deliveries. Fucking Piven and his Summerfest.

- Barbershop Moment: Top 5 of all time

- Nice: "What'd you wanna tell him??" from guy in crowd after Sheamus crushed Triple H.

- Jeez, finally Bret gets involved with Hart Dynasty. Seriously, how pissed are you when there is this hand-written storyline and you are fighting Cryme Tyme?

- OK, nice job getting Randy Orton over as face. I'll buy it. Still, Batista is the best heel in a while.

- HBK moment was exactly what I thought it would be and should be. Possibly best all-around performer of all-time. Kind of surprised he went out with a lot of matches left in him, but it's nice to see a guy know when it is his time.

That's all for now. Next blog will be the Random Wrestler Review on AJFC's namesake, Ahmed Johnson.

Wrestlemania 26 Review

Four hours and $55 later, here is my Wrestlemania review. By the way, it's 9PM on Monday night and I am DVRing RAW so I will be back to post my thoughts on that semi-live.

OVERALL THOUGHTS
I thought it was a pretty good show. Outisde of Bret/Vince, the main matches delivered and Taker/HBK was an insane spotfest for two guys over 45. I've always hated reading huge, stale reviews, so here are my thoughts on each match in 20,000 words or less.

ShowMiz (w) vs. Morrision/R. Truth for the Unified Tag Team Titles
Just awful. There seems to be a direct correlation to how good your abs are to how much charisma you have. John Morrision's run of "he kind of reminds me of Shawn Michaels" is over. R. Truth is over with the What's Up stuff, but that isn't going to sell enough t-shirts to get him anywhere the main event. Show and Miz work great as a team and Miz seems to have a real future.

On a side note, how can you have two women's championships and ONE men's tag team championship? It just doesn't make any sense to me. The Road Warriors, Outsiders, Dudleys, etc. all drew money. Tag teams can make money, but WWE doesn't seem to want to build anything.

Randy Orton (w) vs. Ted Dibiase vs. Cody Rhodes
First Lawler botch of the night, [paraphrasing] "They're eventually going to have to eliminate Orton." Um, actually not an elimination match.

Really good psychology here and it felt like a big time match to me. The double-middle rope DDTs got a big pop so people can seem to buy Orton as a major face. My first thoughts when I saw Rhodes, was (1) he won't be in WWE in 2 years, and (2) his boot/kneepad combination was awful. Legacy totally missed the poor man's Total Elimination spot, making me further long for true tag team wrestling.

Also, did anyone else notice the ref was wearing gloves for this one? In addition to that, the ring entrance was so long that 3 out of the first 5 guys in the first two matches didn't make it to the ring before the next guy's music started. Shit like that really irks me for some reason.

Anyway, get ready for Triple H/Orton 37 at Summerslam but as two faces this time.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match - Jack Swagger (w)
Really good match here, but I have to say I was waiting for someone to knock Swagger off the ladder because I didn't think he had a chance. Bigger time standing still moment: Swagger reaching for that breifcase and not unhooking it for what felt like an hour, or not being able to put a condom on? Anyone remember the end of Summerslam 95's ladder match? It is just uncomfortable to watch sometimes.

Good spots, including the sandwich spot on Swagger. The Kofi stilts thing was cool, but I mean, is he an idiot? Why would you take all that time to get on stilts when there is a 12 foot ladder outside the ring?!

My real problem with this match is you cannot have 10 guys in a match like this. At the end, I was trying to remember if Shelton Benjamin did anything.

I usually like Matt Stiker's commentary, but during this match he was really killing me. A few things (again, paraphrasing): "The winner of this match will take the WWE into the 21st Century" and also first they said Shelton had been in 5, than Stiker says Kane is the first to be in back to back MITB matches.

Other things of note were Evan Bourne's SSP off of the ladder which got a "holy shit" chant, which was deserved. It will be interesting to see if any of these guys are going anywhere.

Sheamus vs. Triple H (w)
First real surprise as HHH goes over, which is fine I guess. I am not a Triple H fan by any stretch, but I think he is the most underappreciated guy in the last decade. Solid worker, good on the mic, and looks like he has gotten over being a dick in the back (well, maybe not totally after this result).

The last 5 minutes were really good. I think Sheamus will make it, but he needs to go to Smackdown and work an Undertaker program soon to keep his spot. My favorite part of the match? The guy in the front row screaming "Again Sheamus!" when Sheamus was hammering Triple H on the outside. I never really understand why people do that, but then again, I am writing a wrestling blog...

Rey Mysterio (w) vs. CM Punk
Way too short for these guys, but a pretty fun match. The GTS is an underrated finisher, for the record. Rey's Avatar outfit was pretty cool. Not really sure what else to say, honestly. Both of these guys were world champions for a cup of coffee and now are in slightly above mid-card status. Rey is always going to be over but I am not sure how much longer CM Punk and the Straightedge Society will work.

Bret Hart (w) vs. Vince McMahon
First big kick in the crotch. First, you have the Hart family "turning" on Bret. This made less sense than that Randy Orton PED angle from last year, right? If they wanted to have the Hart's out there, why not just bring them out on Bret's side originally since it is a No Holds Barred match? Not sure what they were going for there.

The match made me feel really bad for Bret. The whole thing was awful. Like, Battle Kat awful. I really hope there is some future with Bret in the WWE, but I am sure this didn't do much to increase his confidence. Vince is usually pretty good in these types of matches (and the Hart Attack spot was good) but this was nothing close to his HBK and Flair matches from a few years ago.


Another good sign "Brett Beat Vince." Fail. I also found it ironic that they introduced Bret at the same weight (235). I was glad Bruce Hart finally took his glasses off because he looked like an idiot and Natalya's non-stop mat pounding almost made me push mute.


Two of my favorite personalities of all-time, but the hype was so much better than the match.


Edge vs. Chris Jericho (w) for the World Heavyweight Championship

Right about what I expected and it was a good match. Can I just say that I LOVE when they do the intros when the two guys are in the ring? It just reminds me of the golden years and the main events felt huge.

Stat of the night? Jericho and Edge have won a combined 55 titles between them! Not bad for a guy that broke Jesus's neck in his first match and another guy that used to wrestle with Lenny Lane all the time.


The "Spear" thing is so weak I can't even put it into words. Edge as a face doesn't work, and I imagine he will be turning soon. That spear through the barricade was pretty sick, and I (and I am sure everyone else) was waiting for Swagger to come down. I am glad it didn't happen though.

Good match, but clearly the right spot on the card for these guys as everyone was waiting for the last 2 (not Divas, obviously).

Divas 10-diva Tag Match

Again, how can you have two women's championships and one tag team? Solution? Combine the women's title into one, and use the other show (probably Smackdown) for a crusierweight championship. Give guys like Mysterio and Bourne a forum to shine.

Anyway, shocker the match sucked and there were botched finishes everywhere. The most unrealistic thing about these women's matches is how they go from face to heel all the time and then team with each other. Women are not that forgiving in real life. Another cringe worthy moment was when Vickie pulled up the shoulders and they had to redo the end. Just ugly, but what did you want?

Cena (w) vs. Batista for the WWE Championship

I was mildly surprised that this didn't end the show, but it's not like anyone on the planet could follow HBK and Taker.

Match was pretty good. This whole having a surprised look on your face when someone kicks out of your finisher at Wrestlemania has totally jumped the shark. Cena entrance was pretty cool and Batista comes off as an unstoppable heel. Does anyone else think it is time to dump the spinner belt? Seems kind of played, but I am sure they are selling thousands of them a night (hell, I bought 2 of them).

Hands down, best sign of the night "It's Still Real to Me, Damnit!"

The botched powerbomb off the top rop made me think Cena was dead or Batista broke his own leg. Good story-telling though. The problem with all of this though, is that Cena winning the belt means NOTHING at this point. My number one markout of all time was when Bret beat Perfect at Summerslam '91. This was so far away from that, it is barely the same sport. Good overall program and I think they can get more out of these two without being too boring.

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker (w)
What everyone came to see, and it delivered big-time. No one bumps like HBK and no one ever will. Everything they did was great and they really teased Undertaker tapping a few times. I've said before that I think HBK isn't gone for good, but I guess this was the right way to go.

Another dumb Stikerism was comparing Undertaker's streak to DiMaggio and other "real" sport streaks. You can't do that and it just makes WWE sound moronic.

It really shows something about these two as to how they can go on last in a non-title match. There are not two guys alive that you would be able to do this for at Wrestlemania at this point. Best match in a long time and the tombstone at the end was almost worth the money alone.

WRAP-UP
So there you go, I've been typing this for about an hour, now it's time to go watch RAW and I'll try and come back and blog about that live. This was a lot longer than I thought it would be, but let me know what you think of the format at eric.tessel@gmail.com and definitley use the comment feature on Blogspot.

Besides RAW review, next blog: Random Wrestler Review (Featured: Ahmed Johnson)

Sunday, March 28, 2010

First Post?!

Hello and welcome to AhmedJohnsonFanClub.com (otherwise known as AJFC for short). This first post is to (a) test the system and (b) let anyone who might read this in the next 24 hours know that I will be posting a retro-blogging review of Wrestlemania 26 tomorrow.

Yes, sadly I am watching it alone in my house, and not even on the big TV. But, this has been a well promoted card and there should be some really good matches and I am excited to be ordering my first Wrestlemania in 6 years.

First thoughts/predictions:

- Being a bigtime mark, I am really interested to see who goes on first. My first guess is either the tag team title match or CM Punk/Rey Mysterio. I am leaning towards Punk and Rey as their match should be pretty good and get the crowd rolling.

- Can anyone remember a time when Triple H and Randy Orton's matches in a big PPV had less heat? Seriously, they spent 3 months hyping HBK/Taker and about 2 weeks for HHH and Sheamus. Also, the Orton/Legacy feud lost all its heat and people are confused by what to think. I can't see Cody Rhodes being around too much longer as far as visibility goes (see Carlito) but Dibiase seems to have something.

- I really want to see HBK go over, but I think Undertaker is going to keep the streak going. No way Shawn is gone for that long and my guess is he will come back by mid-summer in some sort of reinstatement angle. The guy to retire him will be Triple H (and that is the first of many of YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRSTS you'll get on this website.

- One final prediction to keep this short, I am wondering if Christian will win Money in the Bank and then challenege Edge tonight and win. That would be a great way to get Christian over and start a natural feud between the two. Not quite ready to slap the YHIHF tag on it, but you never know...

Anyway, I promised myself I would keep these posts easily digestable so feel free to give your feedback and comments. If your ordering Wrestlemania, enjoy the show and make sure to check back later this week for my notes on the entire event.

- Tessel